Lessons From Linda Ikeji

According to reports, she just got a house at banana Island and all hell has been let loose since then. People whose are obviously jobless are trying so hard to dismiss the report, some are throwing the marriage angle at her, while others are busy throwing different shades at her..

While they do all these, Cash is rolling into her account and she is living the life of her dream.

Have we all observed a trend? When someone becomes successful in a chosen career 

Path, people tend to find ways to question, dismiss, throw negative criticism and jibes, talk about their personal life, religious affiliation/background, relationship , lifestyle ...all in a bid to bring them down for just no apparent reason.

While some people may frown at her news gathering techniques, plagiarism issues (which I believe she has gotten a hold on) and others , I believe that despite all these short comings, there are lessons to be learnt from Linda Ikeji

- whatever you honestly enjoy doing, as long as it doesn't constitute a nuisance to others , as long as it is legal, keep doing it against all hatred or disregard. Someday you will be rewarded consciously or unconsciously 

- there will always be setbacks and days you will feel like giving up...but it shouldn't be an option anyways. Linda blogged for 7 years before she got her needed break

- Walking an unknown road need lots of courage and perseverance. When she started blogging, it was new to Nigerians and many didn't understand the blogosphere world. It never stopped her from walking through uncharted road. She began a new dawn and popularized blogging in Nigeria or should I say Africa. Now everyone wants to blog, everyone wants to be rich and successful like Linda but no one wants to pay the price in tears and hardwork.

- Failure at an attempted endeavor does not make you a total waste of human space. Remember she was a failed model before she ventured into blogging. Her failure didn't deter her from trying something entirely different and making a name out of it.

- When your hardwork finally begins to pay for off, expect big stones to be hurled at you from people. They will pelt you with hurtful words, blackmail, threaten, criticize negatively.. Success comes with a price. For you to stay up there, you have to develop a thick skin and be as stubborn as the mule; the mule is a stubborn, self centered animal who is only concerned with his own interest. Don't try to prove yourself to a small fry.

Don't waste your time trying to prove yourself to 'people' who constantly attempt undermine your efforts. Instead focus your eyes on climbing to the top and gaining the support of people that matter who can help you on your journey as you rise.

...

People will ask you silly questions, try to water down your efforts, try to make you feel you have wasted time and efforts on something you believe so much in.

Such questions come from persons who are jealous. Jobless with low or little self esteem, seeking to pull you down for cheap popularity or because they failed to achieve the same level of such as you.

Be unstoppable 

Remember that mockery and criticism cannot stop an idea or dream that will succeed. Your job is to ignore those people and do what you have to do by ruthlessly pursuing your goals.

 As Baltasa quoted "Be content to act and leave others to talking...."

Good Morning

What you Permit is what you Get

What you permit in your relationship is what you get in the long run.

1. I was in a restaurant and I noticed a 'couple' seated at an obscure end. A glance at them would never raise your suspicion on what was going on between them, a second and third look if sensitive enough would shock you at the realization on what was transporting between them. The guys hand was working its way into the skirts of the lady and I could tell he was stroking her cause the look on her face was indescribable. To confirm my suspicions, when they rose to go, I saw a patch of seminal fluid on the guy pant.

2. A deaconess once told us a story about her visit to her fiancé family. On arrival, she decided to help his aged mom with her laundry and in the process, fiancé sister walked up to her and dumped her clothes for laundry too. Deaconess called her back and ordered her to take every of her clothes. Caused a strain in the relationship between SIL and the deaconess but she stood her ground and insisted she wouldn't take trash. Deaconess eventually got married to her man. SIL knows her boundaries and respects them well.

...

The two scenarios above paints two different pictures.

I have nothing  against public display of affection but when it involves groping and grabbing and other forms of extremes, it speaks a lot about how the couples in question views respect.i have seen with men who publicly squeeze the breast and butts of their partners in public and all they do is laugh or grin sheepishly. If he doesn't respect your body in public, then he won't do so in private. A man who tells you he loves you but constantly disrespect your person is not in Love with you. Love and respect are Siamese twin and go head in head. Both are inseparable. Boundaries should be respected. What you allow in your 'lovey-dovey' days will transform into its reviewed version later on in the future.

Does he always scold you in the presence of his family and all you do is shrink and hide? 

Does he threatens to beat you up whenever you falter?

What are his views on women who strive to attain the peak of their career?

You cannot constantly overlook some important signs in the name of love. Love seeks to know, to understand better and make choices that would make her blossom.

On point two... I know some ladies will actually wash SIL clothes to paints the picture of a "wife material" and when she eventually gets into the family and SIL constantly disrespect her and treats her like trash, she would tell whoever cares to listen that SIL is Jezebel reincarnated. What you permit is exactly what you would get. Saying NO and standing your grounds sometimes would only earn you disdain but in the long run, your dignity and respect will be preserved.

You do not have to say YES to every request, every prodding. You do not have to agree to everything because you want to appear 'decent' in the eyes of people. It's very okay to have a different view, it is very good to disagree with opinions that do not sit well with you. Being in a relationship shouldn't turn into an automated machine that obeys the prompt of its handler.

Life in a Mug

LIFE IN A MUG

Sometimes last month as about 11pm, after rounding up my days work, I decided to make myself a hot cup of lemon tea before crashing. I boiled some water, poured into the mug and headed to my room to prepare the lemon tea. I had barely opened the door when the whole content of the mug emptied on my hands. I wanted to scream in pains, but I shocked myself by gently placed the mug on the floor and dashing to the kitchen to run my hands over the faucet.

I learnt a lot from this experience.

1. Life do not happen

SURVIVING AT HER MERCY

The fiery eyed man came home in frenzy of fury searching frantically for his punching bag. The target, his frightened wife held her breath as she hid under the bed praying that their four year old son whose lips know no lie will not give her away. But that was not to be, for in matters of seconds the unwavering honesty of their clueless son fished her out from under the bed. As he dragged her by the hair, the piece of cloth she tied fell off leaving her naked, but her oppressor was unmoved and insistent, he began to pound her like local akuebilisi drum. Having endured these routines of horror for years the woman has grown used to it, she lay still like a real sand bag bereft of will to fight back. When he was done he stormed out relieved. Down to Original Mama’s joint he landed, his mouth filled with tales and his enticer’s ears eager as hell to hear. He poured it out like the surge of a mighty flood; branding himself a hero for wrecking his own ship. Original Mama has been in easy virtue business for ages, like a professional spin-master she doused his ego, saturating him with accolades so elusive. He felt relaxed and warmed up to her exhausted bossom. The old hag welcomed him warmly to her rusty murky well of expired waters. Alas! He gasped what else do I live for? So quietly he emptied his whole pocket to her, like a faithful steward he rendered an immaculate account, offering to do even better the next day. Once more the old hag

SECOND CHANCES

I had just returned from burying my
father. His death irked me so much for he
died just when things started turning
around for good. I had returned back to
my base in Jos where I plied my trade as
a businessman. Since we buried my old
man in the last week of November, I had
no plans of returning again for Christmas.
I agreed to go first while my wife and four
months baby boy will join me later in two
weeks time. I had some business deals
waiting to be wrapped up and my wife as
the

DONT GIVE UP

"One day I
decided to quit. I quit my job, my
relationship, my spirituality. I wanted to
quit my life. I went to the woods to have
one last talk with God.“God”, I said. “Can
you give me one good reason not to
quit?”His answer surprised me.“Look
around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and
the bamboo?”“Yes”, I replied.“When I
planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I
took very good care of them. I gave them
light. I gave them water. The fern quickly
grew from the earth. Its brilliant green
covered the floor. Yet nothing came from
the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on
the

Different Faces..... Different Destinies..............

Sir Henry

A samurai who was known for his nobility and honesty, went to visit a Zen monk to ask him for his advice. When the monk had finished his prayers, the Samurai asked

 “Why do I feel so inferior? I have faced death many times, have defended those who are weak. Nevertheless, upon seeing you meditating, I felt that my life had absolutely no importance whatsoever.”

“Wait, Once I have attended to all those who come to see me today, I shall answer you.” – replied the monk.

The samurai spent the whole day sitting in the temple gardens, watching the people go in and out in search of advice. He saw how the monk received them all with the same patience and the same illuminated smile on his face. At nightfall, when everyone had gone, he demanded:

 “Now can you teach me?” 

The master invited him in and led him to his room. The full moon shone in the sky, and the atmosphere was one of profound tranquility.

 “Do you see the moon, how beautiful it is? It will cross