I was seated in my office one day, and
in the course of discussing with my
colleagues, I told them I was planning
to buy a piece of land and buy a car.
Immediately, both men and women
asked me not to do that. In this Abuja?
No o!
Their main reason was that I was going
to “chase away potential suitors.”
I was shocked that in this
century,
many people still think this way. So
when I got home, I asked my father
what he thought.
He told me, “I gave you an education,
so that you can be the best at anything
you want to be. If you ever let anyone
tell you otherwise, then that education
was wasted. The man who buys land
and owns cars, does he have two
heads? Was his education better than
yours?”
I thank God for my father!
There is now a popular, archaic and
downright ungodly teaching that tells
unmarried, single women not to wear
expensive clothes, drive expensive
cars, live in their own apartments and
so that they don’t scare away Mr
Future Husband. Some even go as far
as telling a woman not to show that
she’s intelligent, because some men
don’t like that. They say that men like
a woman who is humble, not flashy
and of good character.
I say this is nonsense!
I also want to say that:
1. No matter how much you own or
earn, if you’re not helping others or
spending your wealth the way God
directs you, all you have is for nothing.
2. Whether you are rich or not, let
your good character speak for you. My
people say, “The good reports about
you are better than your physical
beauty.” Without good character, your
money is worthless.
3. What are your life’s priorities? To
fulfil purpose or to be a married
woman? I’m asking this because if it’s
the first, then you won’t succumb to
these lies. You fully be who’re meant
to be in God, knowing that when the
time comes, the Father will lead a
worthy man to you.
4. I've never heard where a man is
asked to live moderately and under his
means, so that he can attract a good
woman. Why then should a woman? As
a woman, if God has blessed the work
of your hands, don’t be ashamed to
show it!
I am not saying be arrogant and
unbearable;
I’m not saying be full of pride, rude
and look down on others. No.
I AM SAYING, don’t live and be
miserable in a one-room face-me-I-
face-you, when your heart desires a
flat or duplex, AND YOU CAN AFFORD
IT! Don’t dress in drab or inexpensive
clothes when you can wear better,
because you’re afraid you won’t get a
husband. If you cannot afford it, fine.
Or you’re just someone who doesn’t
care much about spending money on
expensive or good quality things.
That’s ok. It’s a different matter when
you can afford to and want to, but you
don’t because you’re afraid of scaring
men away. God hasn’t given us the
spirit of fear, but of boldness and sound
minds.
5. Know this: when you are a woman
of good character who trusts in the
Lord, a man of good character, who is
meant for you, will find you. And when
he does, he won’t be chased away by
the money you make. He will not insist
that you “come down to his level” as
many young men today do, preach to
you to be “submissive.” He won’t need
to, because he won’t be intimidated
and you as a good woman, will
naturally flow him. If anything, most
men will up their game to match or
exceed yours.
Don’t be with someone who believes
that women are to be seen and not
heard; someone who is envious of the
way you hold the attention of a room
with your intelligent input to
conversation. Such a man is like a
bottomless pit; no amount of
submission or even silence will satisfy
him. Until you are broken and crushed
to nothingness, he’ll always see you as
a rival.
6. Any man who is scared of a woman’s
superior earning ability, has a serious
case of inferiority complex and isn't
meant for that kind of woman. I’m
saying this from experience. I’ve had a
couple of guys refuse to date me,
because they were afraid of my father’s
money! Not even my own o! Funny,
isn’t it? I gladly let them go, because I
thought to myself, “If he can’t handle
my father’s wealth, then he’ll definitely
have a problem when I become rich.
These are the kind of men that when
you get married to them, they’ll order
you to turn over all your money and
assets to them, so that they can feel
superior to you. When this kind of man
comes, please ask him to step aside.
It’s this kind who know a woman is
above their means and yet, they insist
on having that particular woman and
when she turns them down, they begin
to shout about how she’s proud and
not submissive. Don’t let any man
force you to live in the way you aren’t
accustomed to, just so that people can
see that you’re “humble and managing
with him.”
If you do, let it be your choice, not
from pressure or fear.
7. Let’s strive to be like the valiant and
hard-working women in the Bible, who
set great examples of us:
Sheerah, who was so wealthy, she built
three cities- 1Chronicles 7:24
The Shunamite woman; wealthy and
respected in society- 2Kings 4:8-37
Phoebe, who was Paul’s patron as well
as for many others- Romans 16:1-2. A
patron was someone who supported
another’s cause financially, as well as
before the rulers of the city.
Deborah, a great judge. An intelligent
woman who without her by his side,
the General Commander of Israel
refused to go to war. And the woman
in 2 Samuel 16:20-22.
Be like Rahab, brave enough to hide
and protect spies from an enemy
country, because she believed in their
God. She was a prostitute, but got
married to a son of Israel and was in
the lineage of Christ.
Be as the five daughters of
Zelophehad, who knew they were
equal to the menfolk in God’s sight,
and demanded an inheritance in their
father’s property. God gave it to them-
Number 27:5-7.
Acsah, Caleb’s daughter, asked for and
was given land and springs, so she
could farm.
Dorcas, who was so wealthy, she was
always doing good, helping the poor
and widows.
And the ever-mentioned hard-working
and industrious woman of Proverbs 31.
Work hard, live well, love God.
By.... Eketi Aime Ette
in the course of discussing with my
colleagues, I told them I was planning
to buy a piece of land and buy a car.
Immediately, both men and women
asked me not to do that. In this Abuja?
No o!
Their main reason was that I was going
to “chase away potential suitors.”
I was shocked that in this
century,
many people still think this way. So
when I got home, I asked my father
what he thought.
He told me, “I gave you an education,
so that you can be the best at anything
you want to be. If you ever let anyone
tell you otherwise, then that education
was wasted. The man who buys land
and owns cars, does he have two
heads? Was his education better than
yours?”
I thank God for my father!
There is now a popular, archaic and
downright ungodly teaching that tells
unmarried, single women not to wear
expensive clothes, drive expensive
cars, live in their own apartments and
so that they don’t scare away Mr
Future Husband. Some even go as far
as telling a woman not to show that
she’s intelligent, because some men
don’t like that. They say that men like
a woman who is humble, not flashy
and of good character.
I say this is nonsense!
I also want to say that:
1. No matter how much you own or
earn, if you’re not helping others or
spending your wealth the way God
directs you, all you have is for nothing.
2. Whether you are rich or not, let
your good character speak for you. My
people say, “The good reports about
you are better than your physical
beauty.” Without good character, your
money is worthless.
3. What are your life’s priorities? To
fulfil purpose or to be a married
woman? I’m asking this because if it’s
the first, then you won’t succumb to
these lies. You fully be who’re meant
to be in God, knowing that when the
time comes, the Father will lead a
worthy man to you.
4. I've never heard where a man is
asked to live moderately and under his
means, so that he can attract a good
woman. Why then should a woman? As
a woman, if God has blessed the work
of your hands, don’t be ashamed to
show it!
I am not saying be arrogant and
unbearable;
I’m not saying be full of pride, rude
and look down on others. No.
I AM SAYING, don’t live and be
miserable in a one-room face-me-I-
face-you, when your heart desires a
flat or duplex, AND YOU CAN AFFORD
IT! Don’t dress in drab or inexpensive
clothes when you can wear better,
because you’re afraid you won’t get a
husband. If you cannot afford it, fine.
Or you’re just someone who doesn’t
care much about spending money on
expensive or good quality things.
That’s ok. It’s a different matter when
you can afford to and want to, but you
don’t because you’re afraid of scaring
men away. God hasn’t given us the
spirit of fear, but of boldness and sound
minds.
5. Know this: when you are a woman
of good character who trusts in the
Lord, a man of good character, who is
meant for you, will find you. And when
he does, he won’t be chased away by
the money you make. He will not insist
that you “come down to his level” as
many young men today do, preach to
you to be “submissive.” He won’t need
to, because he won’t be intimidated
and you as a good woman, will
naturally flow him. If anything, most
men will up their game to match or
exceed yours.
Don’t be with someone who believes
that women are to be seen and not
heard; someone who is envious of the
way you hold the attention of a room
with your intelligent input to
conversation. Such a man is like a
bottomless pit; no amount of
submission or even silence will satisfy
him. Until you are broken and crushed
to nothingness, he’ll always see you as
a rival.
6. Any man who is scared of a woman’s
superior earning ability, has a serious
case of inferiority complex and isn't
meant for that kind of woman. I’m
saying this from experience. I’ve had a
couple of guys refuse to date me,
because they were afraid of my father’s
money! Not even my own o! Funny,
isn’t it? I gladly let them go, because I
thought to myself, “If he can’t handle
my father’s wealth, then he’ll definitely
have a problem when I become rich.
These are the kind of men that when
you get married to them, they’ll order
you to turn over all your money and
assets to them, so that they can feel
superior to you. When this kind of man
comes, please ask him to step aside.
It’s this kind who know a woman is
above their means and yet, they insist
on having that particular woman and
when she turns them down, they begin
to shout about how she’s proud and
not submissive. Don’t let any man
force you to live in the way you aren’t
accustomed to, just so that people can
see that you’re “humble and managing
with him.”
If you do, let it be your choice, not
from pressure or fear.
7. Let’s strive to be like the valiant and
hard-working women in the Bible, who
set great examples of us:
Sheerah, who was so wealthy, she built
three cities- 1Chronicles 7:24
The Shunamite woman; wealthy and
respected in society- 2Kings 4:8-37
Phoebe, who was Paul’s patron as well
as for many others- Romans 16:1-2. A
patron was someone who supported
another’s cause financially, as well as
before the rulers of the city.
Deborah, a great judge. An intelligent
woman who without her by his side,
the General Commander of Israel
refused to go to war. And the woman
in 2 Samuel 16:20-22.
Be like Rahab, brave enough to hide
and protect spies from an enemy
country, because she believed in their
God. She was a prostitute, but got
married to a son of Israel and was in
the lineage of Christ.
Be as the five daughters of
Zelophehad, who knew they were
equal to the menfolk in God’s sight,
and demanded an inheritance in their
father’s property. God gave it to them-
Number 27:5-7.
Acsah, Caleb’s daughter, asked for and
was given land and springs, so she
could farm.
Dorcas, who was so wealthy, she was
always doing good, helping the poor
and widows.
And the ever-mentioned hard-working
and industrious woman of Proverbs 31.
Work hard, live well, love God.
By.... Eketi Aime Ette
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