Bloggers Diary - An Unforgettable Night

After much persuasion, I had to attend the vigil to please my mom..Who knows, the reason why I haven't made millions or married a billionaire might be revealed that night. I wouldn't want to miss it for anything.
I wore the longest skirt I owned, donned a shirt and was off to the life-changing vigil of the year..or so i thought.

The service started with praise, not the usual kind of songs praising God but those that seem more like warfare. I asked my neighbour if the pastor was around and was replied in the Negative.. I sighed. I thought there were different kind of praise songs depending on the segment being ushered into. I looked around and realised that my below the knee skirt was a micro mini compared to the larger than life curtains
the ladies and women wore as skirts..Mmm..I will definitely be a topic of discuss today.

The woman of God aka Prophetess finally got of hold of the mike and her session which was the most anticipated began in earnest.. She began preaching..u know the usual type of wearing trousers and making attachment with jewelries will take you to hell and bla bla bla. Then all of a sudden she faced me...

"You, sitting over there... What are you wearing exposing your legs. You think you can come here and tempt the brothers here. I have said it before and will say it again.. o ye young girls exposing your body, your breast, your thighs....There is no place in heaven for you...REPENT"

Ye pa!!!! mogbe... Na so everybody turn dey look ME... object of sin and temptation... chai!! them get luck say na vigil, I for carry my two yellow legs waka comet for der..
After much ado and lambasting in the name of preaching, the main session everyone was anticipating arrived.. "Deliverance, prayers and prophecy time"

Everyone wants to hear of a certain witch holding the key to their breakthrough, when they will become millionaires and the ladies when Mr Right would come knocking.

"Spread your arms wide" she commanded

"Begin to turn round, ask God to free you from every yoke, every burden, TURN!!!!"

I opened my arms and began to turn slowly while praying.. Meanwhile, the rest are all caught up in the frenzy, all turning wildly like fan blades.
I stopped turning when I began to feel a little dizzy and out of breathe. I stood still with arms spread apart praying but 'prophetess' will have none of that. She got to where I was standing, pushed me and commanded I turn..abi I wan miss my blessing ni.

I thought about the billionaire husband and making millions and I swung in action. I spread my arms wider and turned like crazy.. like my life depended on it.

Then it happened...

I got very dizzy

The people around became a mass of blurred colours

The ceiling spun around and round and round

And I began to stagger

I staggered to the left, to the right, to the left, right and finally crashed on the heap of chairs arranged by a corner.

They picked me up again and I was told to keep turning ... Mumuish me kept turning ...and I kept staggering and falling. I knew I was dizzy like crazy but the rest felt I was arrested by the Holy spirit.
When she finally decided it was my turn to pray for me, she laid her hand on my forehead and spun me around with force, I fell again.

She repeated it twice and I fell like a bunch of cards on the floor..

Deep within me, I felt nothing... I was falling cause I was damn dizzy from the turnings. I didn't feel any anything, definitely not the power of God coursing through me. I felt so empty, so embarrassed and so used.
Finally, after much prayers and falling and casting out of demons, the service came to an end. Pheeeew!!! Finally

I carried my bible and dashed out hurriedly and swore never to set my foot there anymore.