Freda and the Counselor

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I walked into the massive building that housed the counselor I wanted to see that Friday morning. My apprehension and fear making me miss several steps as I walked down the long corridor in search of her name tag on the door. After several pleas from Teema, I decided to try out a session with the much talked about counselor. I just hope she would be everything and more Teema had boasted of or she would definitely have her head on a spike.

A little rap on the door and i was invited into the office by the voice within.

‘’Good morning Mrs walker”  the counselor said with a smile beaming across her face

‘Good Morning Ms Ruth, errrm .. I..

‘Just feel comfortable Mrs Walker, I could get you a cup of coffee or  tea if you don’t mind’

‘Please call me Freda. I wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee. Thank You’

‘ok Freda.. if you don’t mind, we can start now’

‘oh! .. alright’ I said feeling very tensed and nervous

You can say all you want to without fear of disclosure. It has been the practice to keep sessions very confidential and…

‘Teema said you can be very discreet that was  what  why I decided to book an appointment after several pleas

‘Ok..good.. Let’s begin”

‘before I start, I just want you to know that I didn’t want to be here. I just had to come because my friend wanted me to. I feel very embarrassed talking about this but I will try my possible best

‘alright’

‘errrrm, I enjoy sex with my husband’

‘I don’t get you, you should enjoy sex with your husband’ the counselor looked at me with a confused face

‘I mean I enjoy sex with my husband after he has beaten me up. I enjoy sex after the pains’

‘go on’

‘he ties me up and works his way through my defenses till  am helpless and vulnerable to my needs. The sex is just damn good…way too good for my broken body to say No’ I look at the counselor and she gave me a nod to  go ahead

‘I think that’s all..  I said very faintly while casting my gaze on the floor

‘it is very okay for you to withhold some vital information but with time, you will have to speak freely as you have nothing to fear. I want you to start from the very beginning..when the abuse started, the first few years of your relationship, a little about his childhood and yours

‘ok

THE GENESIS

I met him during my thanksgiving after I successfully concluded my NYSC in the North. He walked up to me during the close of service, extended his hands and told me congratulations with the cutest smile spread across his face. I smiled back as I extended my hand in acknowledgment. I would say I was smitten on the spot. One meeting after the next and the rest became history.

‘any sign of violence during the relationship’ the counselor cut in

Yes, he always had a streak of violence in him but always assured me he would work on his anger issues. he would flare up on waitresses, curse out attendants if they didn’t respond in a particular way that he defined appropraite.

‘did he ever get physical with you’

‘yes he did..one slap too many for not doing things the exact way he wanted me to.. he would rebuke me with harsh words in front of friends and family

‘any form of intimacy after that’

‘yes’I said weakly..  he would buy me gifts and make love to me so sweetly while assuring me that he would never hit me again.

‘any form of weird sexual activities between you two’

‘yes, he would suggest we try one or two his fantasies as he would refer the as. Any form of resistance from me would result in anger and would bend to his requests so soothe his annoyance’

‘what kind of fantasies’

‘he would tie me up with ropes, some times he would gag me and lash me with his belt. Then he would kiss every part of me so tenderly ..the pains forgotten and then make love to me so tender. It was always a different shade of explosive episodes days we make out after some form of argument, disagreement or physical abuse’

‘why did you go ahead with the marriage’

‘the sex was damn good, I was hooked. Besides, I couldn’t walk away from the relationship.  Both families were neck deep into the intending union. We struck a perfect example of a beautiful couple . I couldn’t bear the shame of walking out of the relationship’

‘when did you record the first episode of abuse after you got married’

‘on our wedding night. He wanted sex, I didn’t because I was very tired from the whole ceremony. He hit me hard across the face, tied me up and made love to me..

‘did you…

‘yes I did enjoy it’ I answered before she could finish her question

I glanced at my phone and discovered that time was far spent. I rose up and declared my intention to leave. I promised to call her later to fix another appointment, but deep down I knew it was never going to happen. I just had to please Teema before she bores me with her incessant nagging.

….to be continued